Go to A Serenade For Solitude to link up your own list for the week! And stay and read her amazing, inspiring blog!
-Scouty's Birthday. She was so happy to finally be four years old! She got to pick anything she wanted to do, and so we went to the mall. It wasn't what I would have picked for her special day, but it wasn't up to me.
She also wore her new Jake hat.
-Cheesy is really crawling all over the place. She was late to roll over and late to crawl, but I knew she would get it eventually. She just works at her own pace.
-Getting all of the kale seedlings transplanted to containers and our garden plot. Some of them were munched by caterpillars over their first night! Now, there's a struggle going on between Amanda and bug. It's fun, like a cartoon about a fly that won't leave you alone while you're sleeping. I'll let you know who wins.
-Maybe I'm jumping the gun, but I just can't help it. I bought a few tomato plants. They have to come in at night. I like thinking about them, down in the foyer staying warm until the sun comes up tomorrow. They're cute.
-A long bike ride alone after a particular stressful (PMS) day.
-Happening upon a baby story time at a library we don't usually frequent, and Cheesy loved it. She was such an attentive little girl at her very first class!
-Going to the nursery at Simmons farm for an easter egg hunt and seeing the prettiest flowers ever.
Let's talk about this last picture, for a minute. This is pretty much what I look like all the time, since I became a mommy, and ESPECIALLY since having a second baby. I get out of bed and rush, rush, rush, to get everybody fed and cleaned and dressed and I'm always the last thing I think about. By the time we have to run out of the door or else, I've barely had a chance to brush my hair, let alone pick out clothes that aren't black or grey or made for jogging... or wear make up or anything.
It's not necessarily a big deal in the scheme of the rest of my life, but I feel so... just UGH.
There are so many things like this, now. I'm ugh about the house and it's level of cleanliness, I'm ugh about the time I don't get to spend with my husband, I'm ugh about changing and washing diapers. I'm ugh about cooking meals. I'm ugh about the rain. I'm ugh about laundry. I'm ugh about waking up before I'm ready. I'm kind of just ugh about our daily routine.
There are tiny glimmers of hope, like when my husband secretly books me a hotel room with a jacuzzi for the night, or when I ride my bike so far that I'm sure I'll never have the energy to get back, but then I do. But, mostly, I feel like everything is just... well, black yoga pants and a grey sweater and ugh.
What if I tried to rearrange everything so that I considered myself on the list of things I need to consider to get through the day. Scouty is four and Louise is nine months old. Is it even possible to rearrange everything so that I'm a priority? Do I really want to wear make up after going this long? Do I even know where my stash of make up is? What do you think?
Mommies, or busy women who aren't mommies...
How worthwhile is it to you to do things to make yourself feel good, about yourself?
Do you use your creativity to get yourself ready in the morning? How do you make/find the time? What are the things you're sure to do, to make sure that you don't just feel like a big old pile of ugh?
This will get easier, right? I mean, I already know that it gets easier as kids grow. I remember when Scouty was a baby and I thought I'd never be a person again, just a mommy machine with so discernible self. It's not that I don't know that things change, and even quickly.
It's just... having two little kids is so exhausting. I feel like I push myself to the absolute limit every single day, so that I'm basically falling down every night at bed time. I never ever feel like I've had enough sleep, even last Saturday when Kurt and the girls let me sleep in until 10:30am. (Did you read that? TEN-THIRTY! What am I? Seventeen?) Sometimes, I feel like it simply isn't possible to pay any more attention to myself than I already do, which is absolutely not at all.
So, help me out. What are some little things that I must do for myself to give my daily self-image a little boost? What are your secrets? I'm bored of feeling like a walking, talking blah.