They called themselves "Team Double Bubble" and Louisey and I were Team Boring, on the sidelines. It made me feel so much like a mom, holding the tickets and sitting under a sun umbrella with the baby while Kurt and Scouty circled around, waving at us, hair blowing back and their mouths open with laughter.
It was weirdly fun and exciting. Things like amusement parks and go karts remind me that there is more to my childhood memories than church and spankings. Even if I didn't ride anything, yesterday, I felt oddly at home inside of myself. Like I remembered this, and the memories were happy. I'm sure mostly, it's just that Scouty and Daddy are best friends and I was so happy to see them having so much fun.
At preschool, Scouty made Kurt a little flower pot wearing a tie, filled with candy. She was so excited to give it to him, this morning.
She brought it home on Thursday and hid it in the toy oven in her bedroom. That means she was alone with a pot of "horsey kisses" several times over the course of four whole days, and she was totally brave and good and she didn't eat even one of them, even though they're her favorite. How is that? I would have eaten them about 5 times and replaced them with new ones, but I'm not a sweet girl and I'm also a pig about candy.
I'm going to get some fancy cupcakes from our favorite bakery today. I'll even get chocolate peanut butter because it's daddy's favorite.
He asked me to write him a story about the two of us going to the beach together, alone. We do that for holidays, as a gift. We'll ask for a letter or a story about something. This year, I didn't feel like typing out a story and handing it to him, so I made him a little book. I'll give it to him tonight at our cupcake party.
The story goes:
Once there were two people, and they were in love. They worked very hard for a very long time and one day, Kurt said to Amanda, "I'd like to take you to the beach."
So they woke up at 5 o'clock. It was so early in the morning that the world was still dark.
As they pulled onto the highway, the lights in the distance made Amanda feel uneasy and sad.
Lots of things made her feel that way and she didn't know why. She supposed she was just too big for herself and wished that she could shrink to the size of a pea.
Kurt saw his wife shrinking, and he said to her, "I love you my darling, I love you my darling, I love you more than anything," and she felt mostly happy again.
Kurt supposed that he was just too small to take care of all the sadness and poorness in their life, and he wished he could grow so big that he blocked out the sun.
They listened to music and talked about love and death...
and then they got to the beach.
They grasped one another's little hand and stepped onto the sand.
Amanda saw that the ocean was very big and very powerful and she was calm and peaceful, shrunken by the sea to the size of a pea.
Kurt saw that the ocean was big and powerful and he felt like a part of it. The waves crashed around his feet and he grew to fifty times his normal size.
They both loved the ocean and they loved each other.
"I'd like to stay here, forever," Kurt said, and Amanda agreed.
You're the best daddy in the world. Happy Father's Day.