What I learned from two first years...

Since my baby is ALMOST ONE YEAR OLD! Have I mentioned that? I can't remember. I've been thinking about Scout's first year compared to Louise's. There are a lot of things that were the same for both of them, like... we love them both more than we love the air. But, mostly, things have been very, very different.

Scouty and mommy, 2007



- Scouty came home for the first time to a tiny apartment in the middle of nowhere, and Louisey had a house with a big back yard and a rocking chair on the porch.

- Every time Scouty cried, we panicked. By the time Louise was born, we were so used to the sound of crying, she sounded little a little kitten. They both cried non-stop for hours and hours every day for the first few months of their lives, but with Louisey it was more tiring and annoying than it was heart attack inducing.

- They both spit up all day, every day until they were about 11 months old. The second time around, I had already given up on looking presentable and had let go of my pride a long time ago. Yes, that's barf on my neck. Yes, I'm too tired to wipe it off.

Scout, crying in a pepper costume.

Louise, crying in a pepper costume.


- Every little thing Scouty did was received with absolute amazement! Oh god, she just moved her fingers, watch! Louisey was also amazing, but we sure didn't have the time or energy to cheer and call all of our relatives every time she blinked.

- Scouty did everything early. Louisey didn't even roll over until she was 7 months old.

- I was afraid to take newborn Scouty anywhere in public, because... what if she cried? Wouldn't everybody be looking at us? Louisey was out and about by the time she was a few days old. We had to drive sissie to school, even, LONG before I was okay-ed to drive. She visited more libraries and parks and museums in her first few weeks of life than Scouty did in her first two years.

- Daddy got up at night, just about every single night, with Louise in an effort to preserve my sanity, (aka. to try to stave off the PPD that crippled me when Scouty was born.) Daddy wasn't even available to get up with Scouty.

- Kurt worked two hours away from where we lived, when Scouty was a baby. He left the house at 4:30am and got home after she'd gone to bed at 7pm. I was a student. I was lonely. It was a nightmare. Since Louisey has been born, daddy has always been in charge of bedtime and bath time and giving mommy a break time.

Love, Scouty.


- I didn't allow Kurt and Scouty to spend any real time alone until she was at least 6 months old because I was afraid he wouldn't do everything right. I hovered over him and gave him annoying pointers all the time. Louisey and daddy are like THIS, and I've been more than happy to trust him to know how to feed and diaper her, at least well enough. Because, really? What did I know, anyway? He was only as clueless as me, and I should have trusted him.

- I understand now that parents don't have to be perfect. They just have to be good enough. We tried to be perfect with our first baby. With our second, we totally revel in the idea that we're perfect for her, and not actually perfect at all.

- When Scout was a baby, I rushed her to the hospital once because she had jelly in her hair and I thought it was blood from her ear. Another time, she got a tiny scratch above her eye and there was blood and I freaked out and was SURE her eye was poked out. There have never been any panicked "close calls" with Louisey. I learned to think before I make a mad dash for the hospital.

- When Scouty was little, I tried to maintain relationships with my childless friends, and I always felt like a disappointment because I couldn't just be normal and have fun. By the time I had Louise, I had given up on being interesting to people who don't like nerdy moms. (I just secretly hold out for the day they have kids so that I can gobble them up and induct them into the mom club.)

Love, Louisey.


- When Scouty was a baby, she was the only kid in the world. Louisey was born with a sister who loved her. They were both lucky.

What about you? What did you learn about child rearing as time went on? Did you make any stupid mistakes along the way?



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