What do you think of this?
Let me clarify that I don't think the message behind this statement applies to people who are out of work or who have a debilitating illness or who have suffered a recent tragedy or anything. I think it applies to people with average circumstances, like you and me. People who have shelter and food and income, but who just never seem to have enough money.
I'm really inspired by women like Dig This Chick who decided upon having children not to clutter their lives with stuff.
When Scouty was born, we were living on a lot less money. Kurt was also driving 2.5 hours to get to work each day and spend about 500$ per month on gas. We didn't have money for anything but absolute necessities.
Now, we're older and we have more money and things aren't so tight, but to be honest, it doesn't feel like we've made it. If one of our cars breaks down or we have an unexpected expense, it totally does throw us.
However, we also...
went to Lake Erie this year
went camping
stayed in a fancy hotel for our anniversary
went on a mini-vacation with an old friend
have a membership to the children's museum
have a pass to an indoor play area
went to Alligator World at the beach
have cable and internet
pay for preschool
pay for soccer
have a pool pass
made a down payment and are paying on a beach house for next year
and so many other things.
I don't really feel like we're filling our life up with stuff. (Well, actually, I do feel that way, but most of our stuff are gifts or second hand, so the toys and things aren't draining us of money.) I feel like we're paying to fill our lives up with fun experiences. But, what's your opinion? Is that really so different than buying our kids a lot of stuff?
I can totally live on less, as far as material possessions go. I don't have shoes and clothes and outer wear. I wear the same things until they're worn through. I cook from scratch and we utilize the library and the outdoors as much as we can. I cut our hair and fix things myself. I'm a big believer in homemade.
I'm just not convinced that it's better to save money than it is to go places or visit museums or for my children to participate in activities. I feel like we've made a definite decision to be people without extra money so that we can afford to explore and have adventures.
When a car breaks down, though... in that rare moment, I definitely feel like it would a less stressful kind of life to skip adventuring and stay at home in favor of having a savings.
I think a lot about how we use our money. I try not to make decisions that aren't justified. I know that some people would consider our spending to be frivolous, though.
I'm curious. How do you live, in regard to money? Do you have a philosophy? Are you a saver? Where is your money going and is it worth it to you to spend it that way?
I used to think I was good with money. I have recently come to the conclusion that I am not. I've had to make peace with this and realize that it's not really my fault - Americans in general aren't taught how to handle money. They're taught to spend it. You know, to contribute to the big consumerist machine.
ReplyDeleteSo we are teaching ourselves how to be better with money. It's hard. I never realized how much impulse buying we do. We aren't going out and buying new cars, but we have been known to buy a bunch of little things - and that adds up. It's amazing how quickly it does.
I'm a lot like you - we like handmade and used. We do a lot of borrowing, etc. I prefer people to give our kids the gift of an experience rather than something material. And yet I still can get stars in my eyes when I go somewhere like Costco. I end up buying 24 Chapsticks just because it's a good deal. Meanwhile, what are we going to do with 24 fucking Chapsticks?
I think that is my biggest downfall - seeing a good deal and then justifying buying it simply because of its low price. But there is a higher price to be paid for it down the road, in terms of clutter, etc.
PS, Super cute pic of you and your husband. :) I mean, your kids are cute, too, but that goes without saying, right? ;)
well..I just remembered about the icecream bucket I bought on an impulse :D.
ReplyDeleteLet me get that...
now, I am certainly a spender.
i'd ruther dye knowing that I have lived my life, seen places, enjoyed what I could,me and my kid; than having a full bank account.
But that's just me :)
I'm a spender trying to be a saver. But it took me a long time to realize an emergency fund was worth saving for.
ReplyDeleteWe do have an emergency savings so that if we need a new furnace (which we do) it's not an ohmygodpanic! type of thing, but I would much rather have experiences than stuff. Stuff gets broken and clutters the house; experiences are remembered forever.
ReplyDeleteI think you are more frugal than about 99% of the people I know, and I think there is definitely something to be said for adventures and making memories with your family... so, don't beat yourself up, just do what works for YOUR family. :)
ReplyDeleteI think you are doing just fine. A safety net is always a good thing, but giving your children life experiences is also important.
ReplyDeleteWhen my girls were young, we lived away from family, so if we went, they went too. So we scaled our activities.
They saw the Macy's Day parade in NY, went to museums, rode their bikes in Central park, went to car races, sporting events, horse races. We camped and kayaked, and visited families.
When they started school the teachers would be impressed over the "life experience" the girls had already. Could we have saved more, heck yes. Could we have less stuff, absolutely. Looking back I would change very little. I think everyone has to choose which path they travel.
I wanted to raise independent young women who weren't afraid to try something new, and so far, so good.
Leslie, i do that sometimes, too. Like, last week I bought a HUGE bottle of salsa from Costco. It was such a stupid purchase because once it's opened, it still goes bad in the same amount of time as a small bottle. So, I was like... slathering everything in salsa trying to use it up and ended up throwing most of it away.
ReplyDeleteioana, that's how I feel, too. But there are times where I wonder if I might be happier living a smaller life with a savings. I doubt I'll ever find out, though. heh.
ReplyDeletesarah, that's the way I would like our life to be. Right now, we have credit cards for those ohmygod panic types of things, but it sucks to be paying off a car repair for YEARS.
ReplyDeleteOrangie, thank you! I hope I am living at least moderately frugally! It's hard because I know that there are people (cough cough parental figures) who think we spend too much money taking the girls places when we could stay at home or have fun at the park, or whatever. But, honestly, it isn't just for the kids! I need to get out and see new things, too or I start to go crazy!
ReplyDeleteKaws, I'm glad you think so, and thank you for sharing your own experiences. I definitely want my kids to be rich in experiences, since they're probably never going to be rich in money!
ReplyDeleteI am a saver - or I try to be, however I've been unemployed for a long time so my savings has been REALLY depleted.
ReplyDeleteI think filling up ones life with fabulous experiences is so important.
I don't have a car, and i am so thankful for that because it would be a huge expense and really hard to budget for if something went wrong.