It's just that I love her so much.
Her teachers told me the same things they've always been telling me... that she's kind and deliberate. She's generous and thoughtful. She's a good friend and has a long attention span. That she's determined to learn how to read and write.
While I was listening to these women describing my big girl, I swear to god that my throat was burning, that I could feel my face getting hot. I was clenching inside, trying to hold back an embarrassing display of tears.
I have a goal not to look crazy in front of my child's teachers. The meeting took about five minutes, and I wasn't sure I was going to make it.
I'm just SO PROUD OF HER.
I'll spare you all the details. She is a wonderful child, but me saying so will only make you think I'm one of those moms who can't see the truth. If I start telling you how amazing she is, you will only be led to believe that I exaggerate.
I suppose I do exaggerate.
But, my Scouty is really so wonderful that you wouldn't believe it. About a million times a day, I look at her sweet little face, or watch her playing with her friends and I feel all of a sudden like my heart is breaking. That she's actually killing me with her goodness, with how beautiful and sweet and darling she is.
(I feel bad every time I write about Scouty and don't mention Louise. Please believe that everything Louisey does blows my mind, too. It's just that, Louisey is still a part of me. She is attached to my body almost every minute of the day. She is so close to me that I'm breathing her breath. I am proud of her, too. That needs to be said. She makes me breathless, too.)
I guess that all I mean to say is that we're making it, out here. Life is long sometimes, and there are a million moments of being so happy I could cry stretching out in front of me into forever.