Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Beast - Writing Challenge Piece

The beast is in the details.

There is a page ripped out of the travel magazine in the caddy next to the armchair. The needle is stuck on the record. Dinner sits abandoned and congealing in a pan on the stove. A drawer has been jerked open on the night stand. A scream has been stifled. The butt of a gun, smooth and heavy and iron, sparks against the stained porcelain of a pair of front teeth. Coffee rattles in all the cups. Men behind their newspapers sigh like they do. This town is a puddle of ketchup and smoke from a frier.

Still, there is a plane ticket in the back pocket of a pair of worn size zeros. There is an intention as lofty as any, hanging in the air like the lingering smell of gunpowder. There is the matter of a broken heart and a baby on the way; a belly that won't grow. There is the matter, gray and transparent, sliding down the wall behind the bed.

Downstairs, in the diner, Alda Mae will be checking the clock again, cursing under her breath. "That girl," she will mutter. A man in a plaid flannel jacket will shift uncomfortably in his seat and order another coffee. He will barely be able to contain the problem in his pants, she should have been here, by now. She should have been here.



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This post is an entry at Trifecta Writing Challenge. The deal is that you have to write a piece using the third definition of a given word in 33 -333 words. You should give it a try, too and link up here. This week's word is beast.

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9 comments:

  1. Very nice piece. I totally enjoyed it.

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  2. Wow! So much going on here - I love it.

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  3. I can hear Joe Friday's voice plain as day. A tight write!

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  4. Wow, well done. Simple but effective. The short sentences lent to the rapid, action packed nature of the subject manner.

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  5. Pretty much like a painting, your words. Your ability to describe visuals is superb.

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  6. I love the contrast between the mundane everyday life and the details that suggest a girl is killing herself or being murdered. Wow!

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  7. This is top-drawer, as usual, Amanda. I've read it several times and each time I do, I get a little bit more out of it. Thanks so much for joining up and I hope you can join us for the weekend challenge going up later today.

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  8. Out of the ordinary. You got me hooked.

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  9. There is so much going on here and not in a bad way! You have me hook, line and sinker. I'm hanging on the edge wanting for more.

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