“You were made in my image,” he whispered with his teeth against her ear. His hand pressed on the back of her neck. Her face was smashed into the pillow. She liked it. It was quiet in here. She listened to the feathers rustling against one another.
“Ask me,” he said into the dark, empty room. There weren’t any pictures on the walls. They hadn’t gotten as far as to decorate the bedroom. “Ask me.” A bead of perspiration fell from his forehead and landed between her shoulder blades.
“Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned,” she said, but the pillow case was in her mouth.
He sighed dramatically. “You have to say it loud enough for me to hear or it won’t work,” he said.
“What won’t work?” she wondered.
She turned her head to the side and took a breath of cold air. Red numbers on the clock were glowing from the bedside table. It wasn’t quite midnight. There were people passing under their window. Someone laughed. The feathers whispered under her ear. “Forgive me, Father,” she shouted.
“Yeah, good,” he said. “Why?”
“I have sinned,” she said.
“Say it again,” he said. “Say it louder.”
She looked at the mirror sitting crooked on the dresser. Their shoes were lined up neatly against the wall. They had only just moved here, to try to start over. This time they would have a proper marriage. This time she wouldn’t talk to the boys down by the pier. She would be home when she said she would.
“I’ve sinned,” she said.
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This post is an entry at Trifecta Writing Challenge. The deal is that you have to write a piece using the third definition of a given word in 33 -333 words. You should give it a try, too and link up here. This week's word is image.
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Painful write, but quite excellent.
ReplyDeletePamela
Not the best relationship. I'm sad for her
ReplyDeleteI want to lift her and tell her she is LOVED - but this is not love. :(
ReplyDeletebeautiful piece still
I liked this a lot. So much detail. I'm sad for her, but she has a certain strength.
ReplyDeleteDoesn't necessarily have to be a bad relationship. This has something cathartic...or maybe I'm weird. :D Anyway, I like it.
ReplyDeleteDark but good!
ReplyDeleteSatu... haha, thank goodness for you.
ReplyDeleteI think it's definitely a bad relationship, but not that she's being abused or anything. Her husband is just a douche and she's cheated before. They're both unhappy, but she's not a victim. At least that's how I saw it.
Clearly, she is the victim. But she likes it at the beginning, and it seems to be energizing his lust. That gives her an air of plausibility and makes his viciousness carry an air of desperation.
ReplyDeletejesterqueen, that's so funny. I like that you argued with me about the meaning of the thing I wrote.
ReplyDeleteI don't see her as a victim, but rather a participant in a crappy relationship. I view the man as like, a gross douche who is trying to enact a sexy fantasy that she doesn't care about. She agreed to try, though. They're just not for each other.
But! I completely love that different people see it different ways.
Thank you for linking up to this week's Trifecta Challenge. As usual, you nailed it. I love what you've created here. You've crafted a train wreck of a relationship and I can't help but watch. I like the complexity of your female character. And how you pulled it all off in under 333 words is beyond me. Hope to see you back on Friday for the weekend challenge.
ReplyDeleteFinally I had a chance to give this piece the quiet time it deserves. I love the conversation in the comments, I too read her as a victim, but really love being privy to your intent, especially upon re-reading that last line. I feel like, oh, okay! I get it now!
ReplyDelete