1. Do it now. No procrastinating. (If I'm putting something off, it's only because I feel overwhelmed. Do you know what is less overwhelming? Getting stuff done.)
2. No yelling, ever. (Not even up the stairs to ask Kurt a question. It's just too annoying when my girls copy me.)
3. Taste everything. (Emphasis on TASTE rather than everything. What I mean is that I need to be present and experience the things I'm doing. I need to make sure that I'm aware of what I'm talking in, and not just blindly plowing through life letting things happen to me. Food included.)
4. You can be everything, just not at one time. (I can be an awesome mom and a writer and a cool date and a good fuck. I just can't be all of those things at once, and that's okay. I need to focus on being a mom, right now. My girls are small. There will be times in my life where I can dedicate some time and energy to being the best at something else. I need to stop feeling like, if I'm tied up with one thing right now that it means I can't be anything. I just need to wait for the right time.)
5. Get hungry. (I placate myself too much. I need to get really fiercely hungry for the things I want.)
6. Make new things happen. (Go to new places, try new things, think new thoughts.)
7. Make your babies happy first. (Enough said. If my girls aren't happy, nobody's happy.)
8. Keep moving. Literally. (I get paralyzed, lots of times. Not literally. I find that if I take long walks and stay on my feet, I can keep my thoughts moving, too.)
9. Be afraid. (Go ahead. I'll never stop having a fear response to new things. Don't fight it. Feel it, acknowledge it, and then do what you came to do.)
10. Throw things away constantly. (It feels good to let things go.)
11. Let criticism weigh the same as praise. (We're all guilty of wading through oceans of compliments to cling to something negative somebody said about us. Why do criticisms weigh so much more than compliments? From now on, criticisms can matter, but only as much as the thousands of compliments I get, too.)
12. There has never ever been a time where there wasn't enough money. (So, quit worrying about it.)
What are your happiness commandments?
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I'm fascinated by this concept. We have a friend, and he's been through hell. One December, his wife miscarried, they found out she had cancer, and he found out his mother was schizophrenic and would have to be institutionalized. Actually, all this happened in about two weeks one December.
ReplyDeleteAnd yet.
He's one of the happiest people we know. His wife is too. (Note the 'is'. She's beaten cancer twice now, suffered a second miscarriage, and they also have two hilarious healthy sons).
For him, happiness is a choice. He can choose to be happy.
I'm as fascinated by him as I am by these happiness comandments. My emotions have never been choices for me, and it took me some 30 years to realize that the best thing I can do is accept it, not try to force myself into an emotion I can't feel, to enjoy that emotion when I am experiencing it, and to hold onto that memory for the bad times, since I know that I WILL be happy again, just not why or when.
This is a fabulous list, and really one we could all adopt. That first one is a kicker for me, but I'm working on it. One I tell my kids all the time and try to remember is "Don't wish your life away"... stop wishing for it to be summer break, or for hubs to get a raise, and live IN the moment. It's sounds so easy, but it's not!
ReplyDeleteI was so close to buying the Happiness Project today, but I bought The World According to Mister Rogers instead. I'm in a process of transformation and it feels good to be happy. I'm beginning to love myself and move into recovery with my bipolar disorder. Ever since I was diagnosed around 14 years ago, I've let the diagnosis rule me. I've been so unhappy and filled with negativity. This year (I know it's still early) I started a WRAP (Wellness Recovery Action Plan) and entered Peer Support Training. These two things have given me hope and I look forward to eventually working again, but this time in the mental health field.
ReplyDeleteI think your commandments are fabulous!
~Suzanne
I'm happy. That's it. I have no idea if I've chosen to be, if I'm programmed to be or if I'm just lucky. But I'm happy with my life, my family and everything I have. I love your list though....
ReplyDeleteGreat list, although so many things are out of our control we can control our reactions to them. Very empowering. Thanks for sharing. :)
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