I locked the gate from the inside. I can't tell you how the devil got in.
I was on night duty. I have trouble staying awake, so I invited Miranda Darling to keep me company, or rather; she asked if she could visit me on my watch and I said yes.
I'm not guilty of letting the thing in, but we did leave the grounds.
Miranda liked to visit the stream that runs along the border of the village. I followed her there. If you look at my hands, I'm scratched from the brambles. She found her way easily, though. I swear she was glowing like the face of the moon. I swear she was.
She lifted her skirt and went wading into the water, glowing as she undid the laces that ran up her bust. Her skin was so pale, it hurt my eyes to look at her.
"Come in," she laughed.
"I have to go back," I said, but I didn't know the way.
I stepped in to the cool water. That was when I became aware of the devil. It was on us suddenly, bristling and snarling. I slung Miss Miranda over my shoulders in a fine spray of water droplets, and I ran blind, into the trees.
I could feel its eyes on my back, on Miranda's exposed legs and breasts, how her hair was loose around her shoulders in the moonlight. She curled up against me like a child. I held her like a baby, her laces trailing behind us, rustling sweetly in the grass. "You're so strong and fast," she whispered.
As we reached the gate, a cold, dead feeling crept up my arm. I was too late. I threw Miranda onto the ground inside the safety of the walls. She cried out for me. I turned to face the beast, and there was nothing but the trees waving in the wind.
I didn't leave the gate unlatched. I didn't let him in.
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I took a break from writing letters so that I could participate in this week's Trifecta Writing Challenge. My prompt was to write a story in 33-333 words, somehow involving the Lewis Carroll quote, "What I tell you three times is true." I didn't let him in, I swear.
This is way fucking spectacular, kid. You have a way of writing Big, BIG things in a way that seems effortless... it leaves you with a great sort of dizzying unsettled feeling. This is fantastic.
ReplyDeleteThanks, baby. I have a feeling that nobody else will like it. I've been accidentally writing like... fairy tale-ish sexual metaphors, and I can't seem to move on to a new phase. I don't know that I really get or like it, either, but I'm trying.
ReplyDeleteLove it. I absolutely love it. Your fiction is some of the best. I'm not sure what is being guarded outside of the metaphor, but something sacred has been violated by this devil, and this character is in denial about letting it in. (Also about Miranda's culpability.)
ReplyDeleteI love it too, but you know I'm a fan. The line I loved best was "If you look at my hands, I'm scratched from the brambles." in the midst of the surreal, dreamlike nighttime feelings, this line tied it back to the real world. Does that make sense?
ReplyDeleteFirst I thought Miranda was your child until you later explained that she was not a child and referred to her breasts, beginning to look at her sexually. I liked the confusion and the revelation.
ReplyDeleteThe first clue was in her lifting her skirt. Immediately I noticed that you were noticing her in an sexually intimate way.
You've left me wanting to read much more about this story and the characters. Strong writing.
Congrats on your win! Really great writing!
ReplyDeleteCongrats on the win. The story is incredibly visual. It unfold in images as I read. Well done.
ReplyDeleteAs always, live reading your work. This short read captivated me. Still interested in the links you sent me on the prompts and Trifecta--just looked around some. I must try one out in the near future! Sounds fun.
ReplyDeleteCongrats on your win!!