I'm officially ready to assign myself my first Happiness task. (If you missed my post on how to be happy, you can find it here.)
I am going to focus on one task from this list each month, hopefully making each practice a habit, so that I can build layer upon layer as the year goes on. By next summer, I am going to be practiced at being happy. I am going to be happy.
I created a chart, which is hilarious because I'm not a chart person. I still balance our budget every month via a torn a tattered little notebook with a pen shoved into the spiral binding. So, my chart has a list of all the months with an empty space next to it for my monthly assignment, and another space next to the that for ideas about how to enact my assignment.
I have a loosely formed method. For example, I wanted to start with something fun, so that this happiness thing didn't become another one of my things I am going to start doing only they're so boring that I can't possibly continue for more than a few days before giving up. I also figure that I should assign myself something fun for the months of January and February, since that is the time I am usually steeping in a mild pool of depression. Outdoor related tasks I reserved for months when the weather will be nice enough to actually leave the house.
For the month of October, I am going to be focusing on varying the things I do.
We're funny little animals who are delighted when things are a surprise. Novelty is important to us. It is why we like holidays and traveling and deciding at the last minute not to go to work and sneaking to the museum and movies, instead.
It is SO EASY to do the same thing every day. Especially when you have children, who need routine to feel safe and in control. It is also so easy to see how doing the same things every day quickly turns you into a robot with more than a few crisscrossed wires.
So, there's my assignment. Every day, I am going to do something new or different from what I usually do.
I've already gotten started. I went to a new coffee shop. I got Thai food for movie night. I decided to skip working one night and went to a movie by myself, for the first time ever, and it was so fun. I always thought that sitting alone for two hours would be weird or uncomfortable, but it wasn't. It was relaxing. I even bought a fancy chocolate bar for a snack.
Are you working on getting happy with me? Keep me updated about how you've varying your routine, and how it's working for you.
My doctor told me the other day, "Try doing everything different." He said it would develop different neuropathways in my brain and help me in making different decisions and having different reactions. So I picked my girl up from preschool and we went out to lunch. Then she pointed to some odd-looking chocolate structure in a bakery I've never been in. We went in and bought it. We sat at high stools and ate it. It wasn't that great, but it did shake things up a bit. Then we went to the used bookstore and laid on the floor, reading books for an hour.
ReplyDeleteI love that you're doing this. I think you started with an awesome one.
xx
Lisa, I feel like you must have a pretty smart doctor. It's nice to have a prescription to do new, novel things. That seems better than like... a prescription for group therapy or something. :)
ReplyDeleteKeep me updated on how you're doing at doing everything differently.
This post made me laugh because just last week I was just listening to my Anthropology teacher talk about how it is very American to "try and be happy."
ReplyDeleteAwesome! What was the movie??
ReplyDeleteRae, how condescending of you and your teacher. Unless I'm totally misreading you? This seems like one of those... "Why would they come to our concert just to boo us?" moments.
ReplyDeleteI think that a better, and less assholey way for your anthro teacher to look at it might be that it's a very "American" thing to need to work at being happy, since the way we're living doesn't allow us to be happy without trying.
Oh, and the other person who commented that her doctor encouraged her to try to do everything differently in order to beat depression lives in Hong Kong. Is it also a very "Chinese" thing to "try and be happy?"
I think it's probably a very "unhappy Anthropology professor" thing to do to act like anybody is happy without trying.
Jessie, oh god. I don't want to admit which movie! Haha. It was Snow White and the Huntsman with Kristen Stewart. I also thought that it was... kind of amazing.
ReplyDeleteI think I'd definitely like to get in on this thing. I'd like to be happy, or at least feel like I'm actively participating in my goal of being happy, instead of waiting for a lightning bolt strike of glee, which seems to be my normal mode.
ReplyDeleteAs for varying tasks, it's so simple and yet...last week, while doing the dreaded grocery-shopping, I went to a different grocery store in a different town. It actually became fun - and I probably floated on the thrill of that small change for a solid 36 hours.
So, count me in!