This morning, I wrapped up in my scarf from my beautiful friend, Chelsea, and a soft, blue blanket and went to sit on the porch swing, in the sun. I closed my eyes and watched the colors, red and orange and yellow, turn to white and imagined that I was safe, somewhere, in the wide open expanse of light and the ocean that never ends.
I had breakfast and felt a little bit like a patient who has been placed in the sun to heal. That is what winter is to me. It is something of a sickness to be endured. There are days when the sun shines and I remember.
hang tight, sweet one. i, too know the feelings of winter blues...but knowing they are just that helps me receive the winter with more openness. it is freezing here, too. stay warm!
ReplyDeleteYou're such a wonderful girl, Cassie.
ReplyDeleteI wrote this poem about Winter feelings:
ReplyDeleteWinter
In the dark night
of Winter,
Look up.
There are stars.
Exquisite piece. Visual and sensory. Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteI have a huge girl crush on your friend Chelsea. I have been reading through her blog archives for awhile now. She's a smart one! And she can knit too.
ReplyDeleteI love winter but am not such a fan this year. Too much death. I want spring.
Leslie, yes, Chelsea. Me, too. I've always been in love with her. She is SO brilliant and beautiful and she interprets the world with her heart wide open.
ReplyDeleteAnd spring will be here. Your little girl's first spring. Just keep your eyes on that prize. It's gonna be something.
ReplyDelete<3 <3 <3 <3 do you want to know something funny? i had meant to send you this small green scarf because i remembered last year you said you wanted one. and clay mixed up the packages when he mailed them from work, so "your" scarf went to someone else and "her" scarf went to you. but it turns out, she's so happy with her green one, and i really, really love that you got the purple one. i wasn't going to tell you, but it's really sort of funny. at least he got the cards to the right people!
ReplyDeletei've been sitting at my kitchen table all morning, working a bit, then watching grey's anatomy, contemplating death and love and cold and warm (i promise, it's not as cliche as it sounds), and soon i will brave the outdoors to go do lunch duty at grace's school.
i want to read poems about snow and mornings and sun and days and sundays and saturdays and all of them.
clay gave me the best advice the other day, though it wasn't meant to be advice, about finding joy in the small things. i'm not great at that. well, i'm better at that in the morning, but in the evening i start to fall apart. i wish i could somehow soak up enough of the morning and afternoon to remind me through the evening that it's all going to be okay.
we put plastic on our windows to keep the heat in. it helps so much.
make yourself some tea, and crush away <3 <3 <3
love to you.
i know how you feel. living in a trailer can be incredibly drafty, so we have insulation taped up in all our windows but the one over my kitchen sink. (i need a little light)
ReplyDeletei'm eagerly awaiting spring to come so i can spend my day on our back porch soaking in the sun.